


Tell Me What's On Your Mind

by Janie94



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Mario is a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-19 00:57:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7338127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janie94/pseuds/Janie94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Thomas kisses Robert and the one time Robert finally kisses Thomas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell Me What's On Your Mind

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this one came from.  
> I needed to write something sweet after what happened with Leo and Argentina and I realized that I couldn't write about Leo without crying, so I wrote for Müllendowski, because this ship is my happy place. It ended up being more dramatic than I intended though...

 

1.

 

The first time it happens, Thomas thinks he knows what he’s doing because really, it is nothing more than a joke, right? At least that’s what he tells himself when he starts crossing the training ground and walking over to Robert who is practicing penalty shooting with Manuel.

He refuses to think about it, after all it’s nothing more than a bet. Mario dared him to do it and Thomas isn’t one to back down from a challenge, so naturally he accepted without hesitating. He feels Mario’s eyes following him and from the corner of his eye he sees that Jérôme, Joshua and Philipp have stopped their little training unit and are watching him as well.

Robert has just placed the ball on the penalty spot and is taking a run-up, entirely focused on his shot when Thomas approaches from behind.

Manuel has noticed him though and he frowns in confusion, just when Robert’s foot hits the ball. It has hit the net before Manuel has even time to refocus.

Robert clicks his tongue chidingly. “Come on, Manu, focus! That wasn’t even a hard shot, you should have parried that one easily.”

Manuel nudges his head and finally Robert gets the hint and turns around.

Thomas doesn’t give him time to react.

He surges forward and crushes his lips together with Robert’s. The striker lets out a surprised yelp that is muffled by Thomas’ lips, but doesn’t push him away. The kiss lasts less than a second, but it feels like a lot longer. When Thomas thinks, Mario might be satisfied, he pulls back. That moment is what triggers it. Not the kiss itself – their lips had only touched after all – but the fracture of a second where he sees Robert’s cerulean orbs, staring at him wide-eyed and at a loss of words. He looks beautiful. Of course Thomas knew that already, he isn’t blind after all, but it’s different like this. The sight makes him want to kiss Robert again and that’s an idea he should drop immediately. He takes a step back and smiles widely.

“Sorry for that. Mario was sure I wouldn’t dare to kiss you.”

Understanding dawns in Robert’s eyes and he returns the smile which does nothing to ease the strange feeling in Thomas’ stomach.

“And of course you had to prove him wrong.”

He shrugs and pats Robert’s arm before turning away and walking back to Mario.

The younger man has a strange glint in his eyes and a grin on his face that doesn’t suit him at all. He almost looks satisfied and that is strange because it’s Thomas who won the bet, right?

“You owe me fifty bucks,” he says in passing.

 

2.

 

The second time he actually means it, but he doesn’t mean it like  _that._

They have just entered the tunnel, a few minutes after the referee ended Wolfsburg’s misery with the final whistle. 

Robert is still riding high from euphoria, a blinding smile on his face as he accepts congratulations and hugs from every single Bayern player. Like Robert himself, they are still speechless with admiration and rightfully so. The Pole has just singlehandedly destroyed Wolfsburg in mere ten minutes, humiliating them more and more with each of his five goals.

They’re in the dress room now, Robert right in the middle and his teammates buzzing around him like a swarm of bees circling their queen.

David, Juan and Javi have started singing loudly and the two Spanish are striking more false notes than right ones, but no one cares right now.

The players are celebrating this victory like Robert just kicked them to championship already and even though they’re just at the start of the season, it sure doesn’t feel like it. 

Thomas fights his way through the others and flings his arm around Robert who has a brightly smiling Thiago attached to his hip.

“That was one hell of a game, Satan!” he shouts over the deafening noises of the others. It’s the first time he has used the term the fans have given Robert because it has never been as fitting as in this moment.

“Thanks!” Robert replies and the already beyond joyful smile widens even further. He looks so boyish right now with his usually melancholic eyes vibrating with delight and Thomas can’t resist.

He takes Robert’s face in his hands and kisses him. For a moment the noise around them dies down to a low humming and all he can sense are those lips on his, then he feels Robert hands fisting in his jersey. He’s not pulling Thomas closer, but he isn’t pushing him away either.

Thomas pulls back to see that the smile is wiped off Robert’s face and is replaced by a shell-shocked expression.

Thomas has failed to notice the sudden silence in the room until their teammates start howling altogether. He jumps when Jérôme pats him on the back.  
“Why are you the only one who gets to kiss him? That’s not fair to the rest of us.”

Thomas joins the erupting laughter, but he scans Robert’s face carefully.

The striker has started smiling again, but it’s a different one. It doesn’t reach his eyes which are still watching Thomas’.

Thomas wonders if he crossed a line.

‘ _Are we okay?’_ he mouths and is relieved at the nod he receives in return.

Then he decides that Juan, Javi and David definitely need properly qualified assistance and he heads towards them as they restart chanting Robert’s name.

 

3.

 

The third time it’s entirely Marco’s fault. Or Mario’s. Actually they’re both to blame for the shitstorm it entailed.

Everyone knows they’re together and really, this isn’t the first time Thomas has walked in on them making out in the bathroom after a match between their respective clubs.

Most times he’s polite enough to retreat and give them another ten or twenty minutes before trying again. But not this time. He’s drenched in sweat and the rest of his team has already finished up while he was dealing with an exceptional communicative reporter.

So he walks past them this time and starts taking off his clothes hastily. A loud chuckle draws his attention back to the two men at the sink.

Marco looks at him with a teasing grin. “How nice of you to join in on the fun.”

Thomas snorts amusedly. “No, thanks, you’re both not my type. Sorry.”

“So I’ve heard…”

Thomas has his hand on the knob to turn on the shower, but halts at that remark. “What is that supposed to mean?” 

Marco gives his boyfriend a peck on the lips and when Mario turns to Thomas with an apologetic smile on his face, he finally understands.

Marco raises his eyebrows suggestively. “So, you and Robert, hm?”

Thomas rolls his eyes. “If you actually listened to your boyfriend and weren’t so busy humping him, you’d know it was a joke.”

“I’m able to listen to him _while_ humping him,” Marco responds smugly. “But back to you, I perfectly understand.” Thomas does turn on the shower then to cut the Dortmund player off, but Marco doesn’t let go that easily. “Really, I do. Did Mario tell you that I kissed Robert once?”  
Thomas whips around so fast that it makes his own head spin. “What?” 

He knows he’s reacting exactly like Marco wants him to, but he can’t help it.

Marco’s devilish grin grows even wider.

“Obviously that was a few months before me and Mario got our shit together. One day after training I thought ‘Why not?’ and let me tell you, he’s a damn good kisser.”

Thomas is sure that his heart just skipped a beat. “Wait, he kissed you back?”

Marco has the nerve to shrug nonchalantly as though it’s not a big deal. “We have always been close. So even though he made it clear that he didn’t want more than friendship, he let me have that one kiss at least.”

Thomas stays there frozen for a very long time. It doesn’t matter whom Robert kissed. It shouldn’t. Yet he can’t deny that his blood is boiling and he feels a sudden urge to punch Marco in the face.

He takes deep breaths, but it’s not helping at all becuase that damn fucker is still grinning.

And Robert chooses this exact moment to appear in the door.

“Pep is becoming impatient. You’re…”

He trails off when he notices the loaded tension in the room.

Thomas thought nothing could infuriate him more than Marco’s visage in that moment. When he looks at Robert though, he knows he was wrong. 

Unwanted images arise in his mind; of Marco pushing the taller man against the wall, both men consuming each other in a passionate kiss. It is replaced by the memory of Robert’s unmoving lips on his own and the contrast makes his mind snap.

He’s crossing the distance between them in five long strides and has just enough sanity to notice a confused Robert flinching in fear at his furious expression before he reaches his teammate. When he surges forward and captures Robert’s lips in a violent kiss, the older man jumps. Thomas can’t tell if it’s from surprise or discomfort. What he can tell though, is that Robert doesn’t move again. He just lets it happen which is worse than a rejection. Thomas pushes his body closer against Robert’s until the latter’s back hits the door behind him. Thomas whines against Robert’s lips, desperately yearning for some kind of response even if it’s a punch in the face, but there’s nothing. 

That is until he feels a teardrop falling on his cheek. It’s worse of a slap than Robert’s hand could have ever delivered. Thomas pulls back and opens his eyes. Robert’s eyes are closed and his expression looks pained, brow furrowed and a wet trail on his left cheek.

Thomas takes a step back and that’s when Robert’s eyelids flutter open, revealing blue eyes filled with more tears. He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t have to. Thomas knows he has screwed up big time. In his rage of unwarranted jealousy he has destroyed something he didn’t even know was there. He hadn’t realized until this very moment that they might not be on the same page and that he somehow hurt Robert.

“I’m sorry,” he says before fleeing through the door. He needs to get away. From Marco’s and Mario’s shocked expressions and especially from those broken cerulean eyes.

 

4.

 

They have avoided each other for a few weeks after that incident.

Of course the others note that there is something off with their two top strikers, but only Mario knows the truth and he has remained mum about the matter. During games they play together just as well as before, but otherwise they interact as little as possible.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that eventually their coach has had enough. It’s the last training before their annual winter break when Pep grabs Thomas by the elbow and pulls him over the field into Robert’s direction.

“Listen, both of you!” Pep demands grimly. “I’ve had enough of your bullshit. Your behavior is putting the whole team on edge. Whatever problem you have with each other, you better work it out until training starts.”

With another glare Pep storms off, ushering the rest of his staff as well as the other players off the field in record time.

Thomas stares at the exit until they’re gone before finally facing Robert who has taken a sudden interest in the frosted grass underneath their feet.

“I’m sorry for kissing you,” he offers, hoping Robert won’t shoot him down right away. 

Robert doesn’t raise his head, but at least he gives him a reply. “Which time?”

“Each one,” Thomas answers. “Except the first one perhaps. That was a bet after all.” He can see Robert smiling to himself and it eases some of the tension between them. It gives him further courage to go on. “But I should have let it go after that. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.”

Robert bites his lip. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable. You just stirred a few things up, I’ve tried very hard to bury.”

Thomas isn’t sure what to make of that confession. “So you haven’t come to terms with the possibility that you might like men?” That thought never occurred to him before. With Marco and Mario, Robert’s best friends from Borussia Dortmund, having entered a relationship long before Mario’s transfer to Bayern Munich, he had just assumed Robert was fine with it.

But Robert shakes his head and finally meets Thomas’ eyes. “No, that’s not the problem.”

“Then what is it?”

Robert takes a deep breath. “I kissed a man once.”

Thomas nods. “Yeah, Marco told me about that.”

“The problem was that kissing him made me realize that I loved him.”

“Why didn’t you tell him?”

“Because he was already in love with Mario, but not sure if Mario felt the same. I wouldn’t have been more than a compromise.” He swallowed hard. “I didn’t want to stand in their way.”

Thomas reaches out for Robert, this time very careful not to miss any signs of discomfort. It’s just a hug, but he figures better safe than sorry. But Robert leans into him, his arms coming around Thomas’s waist as he lets himself be held.

The chill air of the night makes the warmth of Robert’s sweat-soaked body against his own stand out and it’s irritatingly distracting. 

Thomas tries to pick up where Robert left off. “I still don’t understand what all of that has to do with me kissing you.”

Robert tenses in his arms and Thomas knows that he contemplates not telling him.

“Come on, I promise I won’t be mad.”

“I know you won’t be. I’ve never seen you get mad over something like this.”

Thomas smiles. “That’s nice of you to say, but you haven’t answered my question.”

Robert sighs in defeat. “Remember that I said Marco kissing me made me realize that I was in love with him?”

Finally Thomas understands what Robert is trying to say. “So you’re in love with me?” Suddenly he is very aware of each place where they are touching. He has no idea what he wants Robert’s response to be, because he has never actually thought about them like that.

“Yes.”

The word hangs heavy in the air. They don’t move while Robert waits and Thomas thinks. Of course he has thought about settling down with someone, but he has never thought about doing so with a man. Now he wonders why. With Marco and Mario as well as Lukas and Basti being happy together for years the thought should have at least occurred to him sometime.

He realizes Robert is still waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know if I could love you like that. If I could love a man like that.”

Robert nods before pulling back and disentangling himself from their embrace. “I know, that’s why I didn’t say anything. Just forget about it.”

He means to turn away, but Thomas stops him by the arm. “Wait.” Robert does and watches him while Thomas thinks about what he wants. He knows his feelings for Robert are running deeper than ordinary friendship, that much was evident by his reaction to Marco’s taunts. But the thought of them together scares him more than he likes to admit. 

“I told you I don’t know if this could work. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t give it a try.”

And before he has time to lose his fragile courage, he grabs Robert’s face and kisses him. This time he opens his mouth, intending to deepen the kiss, but to his surprise Robert pushes at his chest vehemently. He pulls back again and meets cold ice-blue eyes. “No, Thomas. I can’t do that.”

Thomas stands there entirely dumbfounded. “Why don’t you want to give this a try?”

“What happens when you eventually decide that it doesn’t work? What if you realize after a few months that you still like woman more than men? What about me?” Robert shakes his head. “No, I can’t do that. I can’t take another heartbreak. Especially not from you.”

Then he turns away and walks off the field, leaving Thomas alone with too many thoughts.

 

5.

 

Despite not exactly having parted on good terms, things almost return to normal after that. Almost.

In the following months they have both moved on and rekindled their friendship. Thomas is surprised how little the knowledge that his friend is in love with him, bothers him. They never talk about it again, but it’s still obvious and Thomas wonders how he never noticed the way Robert looks at him sometimes.

But then the return match versus Atlético Madrid happened and it changed everything.

Thomas is sure he can’t feel any worse than in the moment the final whistle shatters their dreams of winning the Champions League, the most important title possible.

They’ve won the match, but in the end they still lost the game.

And Thomas feels guilty for it. If he hadn’t missed his penalty, they would have made it. The whole team has outdone itself tonight and delivered a fight that will be remembered for a long time to come, but it still hasn’t been enough.

It’s quiet in the showers. Everyone is devastated and it hurts even more that they won. Because it means that for the entire 90 minutes they had a reasonable chance at twisting things around. One more goal was all they would have needed and Thomas could have made it. His failure destroyed the dreams of all his teammates. No one is reproaching him, but he still blames himself.

It enforces his resolution to try comforting them even though it probably won’t help much.

Slowly he walks over to Manuel who is sitting in front of his locker and staring at the wall.

“You did great, Manu. I didn’t expect you to save Torres’ penalty.”

Manu tries to smile, but it looks more like a bitter grimace. “Thanks.”

Thomas pats his captain Philipp on the back, hugs a crying David and quickly congratulates Xabi on his goal.

When he has eventually made his round, most have already left and Thomas hasn’t even showered yet. There is still one person missing on his list and when Thomas hears that the water is still running in one of the showers, he knows where to find him.

He hesitates in front of the tarnished mirror above the sink, looking at his reflection for a moment. He looks as miserable as he feels.

“Robert?”

He isn’t surprised to receive no answer. Robert has always been the one to be hit hardest by such a fatal loss; he’s too ambitious after all.

Thomas takes off his dirty clothes, hoping the shower will ease the pain in his muscles at least. But his feet lead him over to Robert instead.

He gets into the shower behind the Pole, careful not to let their bodies touch.

Robert is facing the wall, but Thomas knows he has taken notice of him entering. Robert’s skin is already red, indicating he’s been under the spray of hot water way too long.

“Robert, you did the best you could. You even scored the winning goal.”

Robert drops his head even further. “Seems like my best still wasn’t good enough.”

His voice sounds alarmingly hollow. Thomas remembers that contrary to most of their teammates Robert has never won the Champions League title before, despite having qualified for the competition for the fifth year in a row. It’s one of the few titles still missing from Robert’s impressive collection.

He takes the last step forward until his chest is pressing against Robert’s back softly, unsure if he’s doing the right thing even though it doesn’t have to mean anything.

He’s startled when Robert leans back into him, craving for comfort.

Thomas doesn’t move for a whole minute, knowing it’s not enough but unsure if it was wise to proceed. His decision is made when he senses the barely noticeable trembling of Robert’s shoulders. He’s crying.

Thomas places his hands on Robert’s waist and slowly turns him around until they’re face to face.

“Look at me,” he whispers softly.

Robert obeys and Thomas finally gets to look at his red-rimmed eyes, a heartbreaking sight he has never seen before.

“I’m proud of us. We played like winners today. We may not have won the title, but we have won the respect of the football world.”

Robert nods, but he averts his eyes.

Thomas leans forward until their foreheads are touching and Robert’s gaze snaps back up to meet his. “I’m proud of  _you_ .”

Robert doesn’t react at all, he looks like he is waiting for something. He looks more vulnerable than ever before.

Thomas knows he should leave immediately, but Robert is still a mess and Thomas has the feeling that leaving him alone right now would be the worst thing he could do. So he tilts his head to the side slightly and leans even closer, so the sides of their noses are touching, his lips only millimeters away from Robert’s. There he stops, halfway expecting for Robert to push him away again. 

Roberts is trembling even worse now, his voice nothing more than a broken whisper. “Don’t do it unless you really mean it, Thomas. I don’t have the strength to deal with you leaving me.”

His words are meant as a warning and Thomas knows he should back off. But he can’t.

He can’t walk away from Robert now even if it means it will steer their relationship into a direction where there will be no turning back. Maybe  _because_ there will be no turning back. 

And that’s the moment he realizes that he loves Robert. Loves him too much to walk away from him.

“I won’t leave you. I can’t.”

Then he brings their lips together. Even the innocent touch he should be used to already ignites a fire in his belly and he opens his mouth to slide his tongue into Robert. The smaller man hesitates for the tiniest moment, but then his walls crumble and he lets Thomas in, his arms coming around Thomas to press their bodies closer together. There’s desperation in the way Robert is kissing Thomas, devouring him like he expects it to be their last kiss.

Thomas tries to keep up with him, to take the pain away and after a few minutes of passionately making out, their kiss turns more gentle. That’s when Thomas parts their lips, only to start trailing soft kisses down the side of Robert’s neck.

Robert doesn’t protest, but Thomas can practically hear him thinking.

“What are we?”

Thomas understands why Robert wants to put a name to it, his need for some kind of confirmation.

“We are whatever we want to be. Friends, boyfriends, lovers. We’re all of that.”

He feels the last bit of tension draining from Robert’s body and places a final kiss on Robert’s collarbone.

Then they only hold each other until the water has run cold.

 

+1

 

It’s a month later when Robert drops the bomb in the most spectacular way possible. 

They’ve just won that thriller of a DFP Pokal finale against Borussia Dortmund after extra time and the dreaded penalty shootout.

Thomas was fired up for taking a shot and making up for his grave mistake in the semi-final of the Champions League. 

Kagawa kicks it off with a solid goal against Manuel. After Arturo has netted the first one for Bayern and briefly tied the result again, Manuel managed to save Dortmund’s second shot, enabling Robert to put them ahead. When Dortmund’s next missed as well, Thomas was sure they made it, but then Joshua hit the post and Dortmund’s Aubameyang tied.

Next up was Thomas. He tried to keep his mind blank and concentrate on the shot, but couldn’t entirely shake off the fear of missing again. It had already happened five times this season. Eventually seeing the ball pass the goalkeeper and hit the net was a much needed personal clearance.

Then Marco evened out the score by converting Dortmund’s last penalty kick. Bayern’s last one was up to Douglas. If he struck, the torture was over; if he missed, it would go on.

Douglas’ goal brought the whole stadium to life as the Bayern fans erupted into cries of joy and many Dortmund players sank to their knees in defeat.

The hour after this victory over their rival feels like a blur to Thomas. They have finally won their much deserved Double and it is an even better sweeter win knowing they have done so by once again beating their biggest rival.

After a lot of celebrating, accepting congratulations and giving interviews, the team is allowed to walk into the tunnel and get changed. It’s definitely going to be a very long night.

A crying Pep is clutching the trophy to his chest like he never wants to let go again and nobody tries to take it away from him, knowing this is going to be his last title with Bayern.

Strong arms come around him and he lets himself be pulled against a broad chest. It’s Manuel who like always doesn’t say anything. He has a way with hugs that doesn’t require words.

Next up is Mario whose smile is so wide that you would never guess that he hadn’t been able to play tonight.

“You guys made it!” Mario says while his arms come around Thomas’ waist.

Thomas smiles into the smaller man’s hair just when Marco appears in the doorway.

“Get your paws off my boyfriend, Thomas!” The grin takes the edge off his words. His body language and defensive stance indicate that he is still pissed after his team’s loss, but he strides in confidently to gently put his arms around Mario from behind. “Congratulations.” He sounds honest despite his obvious displeasure. Then he nods down to Thomas’ hands around Mario. “Like I said, get your hands off him, he already has a boyfriend.”

Thomas obeys with a playful smirk, but before he has time to answer, somebody approaches him from behind and all of a sudden a very familiar body is clutching him from behind and a chin is resting on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, Marco, he’s already got one of his own.”

Robert’s words draw a few chuckles from their teammates who seem to think he is joking. Marco gives Thomas an insecure side glance.

Thomas smiles nervously, unsure what to make of the situation because Robert has made it very clear that he doesn’t want to out them before he is sure that this relationship is going to work. Certainly he can’t have that much trust in Thomas after one month, right?

Robert answers his unspoken question by pressing a soft kiss to the side of Thomas’ mouth that quiets even the last laughter. For a moment it’s deadly silent then Marco grins. “So Mario was right after all.”

Thomas frowns. “What do you mean?”

It’s Mario himself who answers. “That bet last year when I dared you to kiss Robert. That’s what confirmed my suspicion that you two idiots were head over heels for each other. Marco didn’t believe me but played along. Though we really didn’t have to do anything beyond making you jealous.”

“Wait, you set me up?” 

Thomas tries to be reasonably angry, but he can’t be. After all he wouldn’t be with Robert now if they hadn’t done it. He’s still sure nothing can shock him after that revelation, but then Manuel has the nerve to add, “Well, it’s really been about damn time.”

Thomas turns towards him and can’t keep the hint of betrayal out of his voice. “Not you too!”

Manu shrugs. “Oh, come on, the sexual tension between you was so obvious. If Mario hadn’t told us about that bet right after you kissed Robert during training, I would have thought you had finally got your shit together.”

Thomas opens his mouth in outrage but Robert beats him to it. “So you guys don’t mind?”

Thiago only laughs amusedly. “Why would we? As long as you keep it quiet while you’re in the shower together.”

Thomas blushes a deep red. “I wouldn’t do that.”

“I would,” Robert says without shame.

Thiago laughs and if Robert had kept quiet, it wouldn’t be so bad. But Thomas has forgotten that Robert is Satan, which means he has to go the extra mile. “I absolutely plan on making Thomas scream while you guys can still hear him.” Thomas blushes even deeper - he must be crimson now – while their teammates moan.

“Definitely too much information,” Manuel says with the sparkle of laughter in his eyes.

Thomas turns his head to Robert. “Who says you get to top anyway?”

He realizes he’s made a mistake the moment Robert meets his eyes with a devilish grin. “Who says I need to top to make you scream?”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments and/or kudos. :)


End file.
